Phew..spider webs all over this blog. It has been too long!
So many have happened. Too many.
The spinal curve has increased. I am back to 45 degrees upper curve and 50 degrees lower curve. Exactly the measurement I had at 14 years old when they wanted to schedule a surgery for me without my parents' consent. There I was sitting in that drabby room in Universiti Hospital, and the Profs and their minion-doctors (whoops..mean mean mean of me) were discussing my curves as if I wasn't there, and as if my aunt (who was accompanying me while my parents snd sister were overseas for a holiday) was chopped liver. Images of them talking like this while cutting through my spine went through my head and made me brave enough to speak up and said no, I want to wait till my parents get home. During that time, you never question the doctors. You go there, you do whatever they want and listen to whatever they say and follow them without arguments. I was done. I wasn't going to fight them, or even hear them anymore. I chose not to go back. My parents, unaware of the risk of an increasing scoliosis, agreed.
Fast forward 19 years later, after two surgeries, a history of partial paralysis due to infected implants and a husband and two kids to think of now aside from myself, the fight for normality (or something like it) goes on.
I go to the spinal physio twice a week for pain management. I go to the gym three times a week for pain management. I breastfeed in weird positions to avoid more pain incurring. I pray everyday for strength and good days, and for old age that won't trouble my kids.
Aside from myself, there's H. And Gibran. And Ilan.
H is busy busy busy. Work is demanding, as usual lecturing is an overworked-underpaid career. But he is happy and I am sincerely happy that he's found a good place for himself. He goes to work at 7am everyday, comes home when it's nearly dark, and stays up late at night to prep for lectures and do other stuff. I pray he always has good health!
Gibran is spending his last year in kindy. He's struggling to read, so I try to spend time doing revision (reading English, bacaan melayu and maths) with him everyday. A little bit of something esch day. I asked a teacher to come in once a week to the house to tutor him, for variety's sake. He likes her and enjoys their lessons. He's also taking tennis and iqra' (Quran reading) class in the kindy. Teacher Jack says he's a natural with tennis. On Saturdays he goes to Muay Thai, and we try to bring him swimming whenever we're free.
Ilan is a Ponyo. That, I shall explain in the other blog soon ;) Ilan... is even more active and resilient than Gibran ever was. If people thought Gibran was hyper, I shudder thinking what people wil think of Ilan. He cannot sit still even for half a second. He eats like a champion but is petite compared to the brother. At 8 months old, he is only 7.5 kgs. But as long as he is healthy, I am happy.
Then there's work. I've started part-timing again, which means even less time for anything else.
Between the four of us, there is little free time at hand. Sometimes I an on my feet all day and only sit down during mealtimes or when I'm expressing milk for Ilan. It can get quite stressful and chaotic around here.
But hey! Who says idle is good...?
