Studying With Kids Around

I really respect women who're still studying (undergrad.. postgrad.. whatever) after they've had kids. I am so lousy at studying around kids. Honestly. I thank my lucky stars that I finished my masters before we had Gibran.

Today we were supposed to have an Arabic Exam for Level One. Hyuk hyukk.. yupp.. still in level one lah! So all of yesterday and today, I spent at my parents' house. After baths and breakfasts, Gib and I drove to KD two days in a row. While Gib played with his cousins, I studied.

Don't even get me started on the distractions and disturbances. Every other minute they'd be fighting or crying or demanding for something. Pffftt. But I managed to close one eye and just let the boys be boys. They climbed, they shrieked, they yelled, fought, wrestled, laughed, cried. Some blood was spilled every once in a while (Nabeel got kicked in the mouth by Shamel, Shamel got scratched on the face by Nabeel, Gib kicked Nabeel in the stomach... you get the idea).. and yet I managed to finish studying by late evening today. Woot woot, ladies, let me angkat bakul and feel pleased with myself la huhhh...

The exam was supposed to start at 8.30. At 7 p.m. our Ustaz called to say he was still stuck in UIA Gombak. So in the end, the exam has been postponed to Monday.

Talk about bad timing. Gahhhh.

Bad enough that the otak is already semi-karat. Bad enough that Gib sticks to me like a leech whenever we're in our own home so the only way I can study is if I bring him to see his cousins. Bad enough that the boys play in insane ways, enough to drive a sane Mum crazy (good thing I ain't that sane...??). The worst thing is... I gotta go through this again next week when I revise through the lessons again..!!!

Now folks, you better have some damn good respect for those ladies who did it all with their kids in tow.

On a Rainy Evening

I often nap with Gib when he naps in the evenings nowadays. Especially since the runaway maid thingy happened, evenings are our resting time. But thanks to Kanna's Curry House's 3 layer tea, I find myself wide awake while laying in bed resting the good ol' spine.

On rainy evenings like this my thoughts go back to my postgraduate friends who are now in different parts of the world. Friends that used to share and count on each other when living in a foreign land. Friends who you think you'd never lose touch with but eventually do. Now I sit here wondering where they are and what they do and whether every one of them is living the dream(s) that we used to dream of.

And that got me thinking of my dreams. How life works in mysterious ways and sometimes what you dream and plan to do never happens quite the way you wish it would.

Who'd thought that I'd be here today raising a kid and handling the house on my own? Five years ago I'd pictured me as a manager in some big company for sure. And yes I was damn sure that that picture would've happened if I'd set my mind to it and if I'd stick to the path that I'd chosen.

But fate is funny that way. The manager part did happen albeit fleetingly. Then the paths twisted and before I knew it, I'd followed this particular curve and end up here.

I was doing ironing while watching "Crossing Jordan" a few nights ago and thinking of Ria, Maddy, Nat, Miho, Kat, Susan, Eileen.. my partners in crime, then aspiring marketing-managers just like I was. Last I heard, Ria became a successful market researcher and then finally got married in her late 30s. Last I heard, Maddy was a manager with Microsoft Indonesia. Last I heard, Miho finally got the sponsorship she needed from Honda Australia. Last I heard, Nat was with a major advertising company in Thailand and doing wonders for the accounts she handled. Last I heard, Eileen got hitched and was promoted twice in one year in Hewlard Packard. Last I heard, Kat got a sought after job with Thai Air. Last I heard, Susan finally got promoted to senior management level that she so aimed for.

Then one by one, everyone disappeared from the big picture.

Life's funny that way. You can care for one another so much but life has a way of taking you away from your past. Sometimes (if you're lucky or unlucky) the past catches up with you. But sometimes, the past chooses to stay where it is; in the past.

On a rainy evening such as this, I hope they're all healthy, happy and I hope they know somehow that they're still in this small corner of my thoughts and my affection for them will never cease.

So what's my excuse for not writing?

There're plenty of them, I assure you.

First there was Ramadhan. Although not the easiest of Ramadhans, it was a wonderful, wonderful Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah.

Then there was the Raya celebration. This Raya we managed to jalan-jalan A LOT. Gibran is a wonderful toddler who handles himself well. Boleh bawak kiri, boleh bawak kanan. So we managed to visit quite a number of relatives. It was good.

Now, there's this little issue of the runaway maid. Hooboy. While my heart sings in joy over the fact that I do not have to constantly doa and zikir for patience in handling a hopeless case of a maid, my body is achy with all the work to be done around the house. Thankfully today the cleaning lady is here, relieving me off many chores. And leaving me with time to blog. Nyehhh ;)

The maid was a test I fear I failed, or with God's rahmat, very nearly failed while barely scraping through. Never have I had a more trying time trying to keep my patience and goodwill. Perhaps this is the way my prayers were answered. I prayed to be strong to go through what time was left with the maid in our home, and even to be relieved off the problem. And that's been done for me.

Who'd have thought that not having a maid can be so spiritually relaxing? Alhamdulillah, Subhanallah!

Now on to the next day.