The Year 2011

This year, I will..

.. continue going to the gym, amidst all the negative and insensitive comments I still get from friends and family about actually lovin' gym.

.. continue running because no one, I mean no one, should take for granted the blessing that God gives us by giving us these lovely feet to walk and run with. There are people in this world who wish they can stand, much less walk or run. So thank You, Allah.

.. try to not be afraid of changes. Because nothing is permanent except changes.

.. focus on the positive elements from my surroundings and filter the negative ones that can drag me down. Because foolish is she who expects others to change. Thus I must change myself and how I see things.

.. contribute more to our household income and (goes without saying) the monthly expenditures.

.. not be afraid to start teaching Gibran to read. I will persevere and be brave or even fierce when needed.

.. love this life that I am in. I will count my blessings everyday. I will write down one good thing that happened that day (everyday!) so that I'll always remind myself to stay optimistic.

.. last but not least, I will remind myself of this everyday: it is never too late to be what you might've been.

So this year, I will have faith and be happy. For my boys deserve happiness. Because they make me happy!

The Beginning of Spinning

I started something I'm incredibly excited about this week. I attended an RPM class. Also known as "spinning" to some.

All these years I've looked at people going to gym classes in awe and envy. The people who attend dance, body combat, step, and so on.. look so well-coordinated and fit. When I started going to the gym in April, I didn't think I could go to any of the classes. Truth was I didn't have the guts to. I knew I'd end up just embarrassing or disappointing myself.

When I started training for all the marathons, my trainer A started me on a regime of exercises aimed to strengthen my legs (which were sooo unfit!) and increase my endurance. When he started me on a cycling regime.. I thought he'd gone mad. Burn calories while sitting on my backside..? Get real. Marathoners look fit and lean. Cyclist look lean too, sure, but hey they've got big thighs still coz they're always sitting on their bums...! Right? Wrong.

Those thighs are pure muscle!

A got me started on interval training. Basically this means that I have to pedal VERY intensely for 3 minutes, then rest for a minute or a minute and a half. And back to intense pedaling for 3 minutes, then rest again. Every session was a minimum of 30 minutes of interval training.

The first change I noticed was my level of fitness. I don't get breathless on my walks anymore. My cardio capacity and capability increased so much, I was genuinely surprised.

Then I noticed my legs don't look like elephant trunks anymore. Could it be that.... I was getting fitter...?! Perasannnnnnnnnnnn :p

Then I noticed that those 10 km walks stopped hurting. Miracle of all miracles.

And finally, I realised that I could jog again!

Yes jog! Praise Allah! I haven't jogged in 8 years since they put those implants in me and I felt as if my insides rattled everytime I jogged. And ever since those semi-paralysed days, I just didn't dare to overdo my left leg because sometimes it still acts like a "lazy" leg.

So yesterday, I decided to try out the RPM (spinning i.e. cycling) class. I figured if it started hurting... I'd sneak quietly out the door ;D

The instructor was a good guy who helped us set up our bikes coz we had no clue how those spinning bikes work.

The minute the music and cycling started.. I knew I'd found one more thing I thoroughly, truly, genuinely, truly ENJOY.

Today my neck, shoulders and bum hurt like you wouldn't believe it.

But you bet I'm going to the RPM class again tomorrow!

Now this item's on my next birthday's wish list... ;)

The CICM Responsible Care Run 2010 in Bukit Jalil

It was a simple community run, and though the efforts they put in showed, it wasn't the most organized of all runs.

The reason I said that was because there was no clear, big signage showing the path for 5 km and/or 10 km. The result...? The kids (my nephew Shazwan and niece Sarah) ended up taking the wrong path (the one for the 10km runners!) and missed the 5 km path altogether. Thank goodness they were told to cut their run short when they approached a volunteer (they were wondering why there weren't very many youngsters on their route, whereas their category was supposed to be for the kiddies), and returned to the stadium after about 6 km. Poor souls! But kids being kids, they didn't mind the extra mileage at all.. not even a bit, especially after seeing their medals and certs. Top that up with the free Vico, Revive, Gardenia buns and nasi lemak they got for free, and the run ended on a high note for them.

The route itself wasn't the greatest (having to past the heavy traffic of the highways surrounding Bukit Jalil) but hey, that was to be expected. I was ready for that, but wasn't ready for the fact that the road closure wasn't very safe. Only half a lane was shut off for the runners (with cones meters apart! Would've been much safer with the cones closer together..), and the cars zoomed by with no regards as we struggled to stay within the closed half-lane. Overtaking other joggers was no easy feat with the cars steadily zooming by.

And that's the reason why we weren't happy that there weren't proper signage for the 5km runners because the kids (and according to them there were other "lost" kids as well) ended up having to follow the busy traffic-laden 10km route. Kids can get rowdy when running, so it was pretty worrying.

But!

Although my performance wasn't personally satisfying.. I still felt a bit batak in the end (super-excited!) because...



I got my first medal.

Hahahhahahahhhaahhaaaaaaaaaaaa

Jakun!

The Penang Marathon

.. is the first time I'd walked/jogged in the rain, feeling trapped like a mouse in a full-caged mousetrap, yet coming close to having the most memorable time of my life as I watched the sun rise on the horizon, as I was walking on the bridge that otherwise usually carries motor vehicles, not human traffic as we saw that Saturday.

.. is the first 10 km marathon in which I managed to record a finishing time of below 1 hour 30 minutes. Maybe it was the rain which felt cool and freeing on my face, all salty mixed with sweat (instead of the hot hot heat and unrelenting sun on that day of the Serdang Mizuno Waverun Marathon a month ago).. maybe it was the fact that even though I was in foreign surrounding, I did manage to memorise the marathon route this time around instead of going in blind (which usually caused me many moments of... "Are we there yet?? How much longer lahhhh...??"...)...

I don't know what it is, but this was undoubtedly the best one I've had so far. And mind you, I went into it alone, I ran alone, I finished alone. No H this time or anyone else. Because H went for the 21 km run at 3 a.m. and was finished by the time I started my 10 km.

So I guess the best part of it was knowing that finally I can say that there really is no competition in this cocoon of mine except for myself.

Maybe marathons are simply the fashion of the moment. Maybe it won't be fashionable 10 years from now. But you can be sure that I'll try my hardest not to forget these feelings of Syukur (thankfulness) and awe that I feel about God and His blessings everytime I run and finish a marathon.

I do not take this walking ability You give me for granted. :) Where I was once nearly paralysed, I'm walking normally again now. And each marathon gives me that realisation, over and over again.

So go ahead, seriously, try a marathon out. Maybe you'd be as surprised as I am at what you'll discover about yourself.


The sunrise.

Friends of the Heart

I love my old friends. I really do. We've been through thick and thin. They've tolerated so much from me, and vice versa I'm sure ;)

But alas, even old friends change.

When I gave birth to Gibran and chose to change my priorities, I was shocked when I actually lost some friends. The biggest shocker for me was losing my oldest, best-est friend. At least, I thought she was. When my priorities changed and family became my main priority (instead of career, friends and fun).. I lost her, and a few more.

To tell you the truth, I was 15 weeks pregnant with Gibran when I was first exposed to the idea of the life-changing magnitude a baby would bring. A bunch of us were vacationing at a friend's seaside summer home in a town two hours outside Melbourne CBD (gosh, can't recall the name of the place now), when our friend Mr. Murali told H..

"When your baby is born, you'll see who your real friends are. You'll lose some, you know. Don't worry about it. You'll see who will really stick by you."

Back then I thought it was such a joke.

Why would our lives change so drastically? I'd had the same best friends since I was in primary school. I was so sure life would pretty much be the same post-baby.

Gosh, how wrong was I lah....?

Gibran was born. He was so so so ill. He nearly died. And that was the closest brush I had to mortality, other than when Ninie my best bud had died a year before that.

Realisation of mortality changes you. Big time.

When we started turning down invitations to go out, even during broad daylight (because of a constantly ill infant), the number of friends H and I had..... dwindled.

When my implants got infected and I chose to quit work for good and stay home for good (because there were so many missed moments with my child already, after so many months of being sick and confined to the bed, not being able to participate in the "living" of daily routines..)... the number dwindled even further.

It was a huge reality check.

Whatever it is, the ones I still have, I cherish so very much. Really, I do.

They might not know it, they might not believe it. But my family and the few friends I have... are the very core of my world.

I do wish I could see them more often! But everyone has their own lives and I respect that. Just as I'm sure they respect my life as well.

And that acceptance of the bad that comes with all the good that friends bring... is indeed what I hope will sustain our friendships till our golden years. InsyaAllah. Amen.


Gosh we don't look that young anymore, do we?! I must find a picture when we were in our 20s and do a comparison soon ;p


Mummy friends help me remain sane.


For their acceptance of my little (not-so-little) baby... I can't thank them enough.

How did your life change...?

White Flag, Flagged

Remember how I've hung my white kitchen towel as a surrender-flag..?

Yessss sirree.

If you asked me a year ago if I wanted another maid after our imposter-of-a-maid ran off, I'd have told you "No way!" ....

After a year blinked by and everyday my life is consumed by laundry, dishes, screaming kid (and parents! i.e. us screaming at each other!)... this no-salary, no-promotion job has definitely taken its toll. H and I haven't had a date in a year, I haven't done any marketing or lecturing-related job in a year (don't even ask me what's the latest in the marketing or education world, dudes..), the only movies we see are cartoon flicks with Gibran yakking away in our ears and us trying to hush him as he bothers the people around us with his constant yakking, my sleeping time has been reduced to 2 am to 8 am (very unhealthy).. and the worst part was my increased grouchiness.

I indeed salute those full-time maidless housewives and full-time maidless working mums out there for their dedication and willingness of continual self-sacrifice done without an ounce of grouchiness. Because obviously I'm not one of those.

So, braving the tense-ness and frustrations that come with having a maid.. we're trying out a new maid right now. She arrived four days ago and is learning the ropes, as we speak.

No I'm not gonna say anything about her or the situation. I'm not evaluating her. I'm not judging her. I'm not saying it's good, or it's not good. I'm only saying... Tawakkaltu A'lallah... I am leaving this 100% to the Almighty. I pray that this maid is a good human being inside. That's it.

Nothing is within my control. It is all in His hands.

On my part... the only thing I can say is... DANG, I'll have to look into job opportunities for next year.

Soon.

A Letter to Malaysian Marathon Runners

I'd better write this while I have the time and flow.

Dear Marathon Runners,

It was indeed an exciting day today as we flocked together to run the 5km and 10km marathons right there in front of KLCC, in the wee hours of the morning. The excitement was electric and it was indeed a memorable picture to be gathered in a place where we'd otherwise wouldn't be allowed to walk on, much less run.

Perhaps for most of you this wasn't your first marathon. Why, there was the Standard Chartered KL marathon earlier this year. Then there are countless marathons and races around Malaysia and Singapore that I don't even know of. Just looking at the countless blogs on running made me realise that marathons and races have become the fashionably healthy thing to participate in right now. After my first marathon I'd comme to love the adrenaline, hence it was natural to join as many marathons as I am able to. It's a joy to walk and run in the early hours of dawn, where in truth, one's competition is only oneself.

Now let me blunt and just let out what needs to be said.

I know it's exciting to be all pumped up to run as immediately as the word "Go!" is shouted out, but please, please PLEASE take note that safety should be your first priority.

I'm not talking about your own safety. If any of you are willing to hurt yourself by hurling through the crowd at a speedy pace without a proper warmup or whatever, that's your business. I'm talking about the safety of other people around you.

Is it really necessary to barge into people, even elbow them aside to fight your way to the front of the crowd just so you seem very "terrer" and awesome? Please. For those that did just that, by now you should obviously realise that being an awesome runner is all you're good for. Well, good on you.. because you've displayed that kindness and sporting spirit is definitely nowhere in your personality traits.

It's a marathon. Marathons are filled with people. Big crowds. You want to have a lot of personal space while running, go and run somewhere alone. Don't join the big crowds.

And has it ever occured to you that accidents can easily happen? Does it ever occur to you that you could badly hurt someone, to the extend of changing their lives?

I've had two major spinal surgeries in my life. A bad smack or a bad fall could affect my spine and the lodged-in titanium implant on my spine. So I do keep aside for the crowds to past. I try very hard not to get in people's way. And the way everybody pushed and elbowed each other to get ahead was putting vivid images of yet another spinal surgery right there in my head.

Of course I realise we run at our own risk and if you want to stay safe and sound, for God's sake, just stay at home. But really, people, even if the streets were filled with perfectly healthy people... it does not make it alright for you to be rude and rash.

So go ahead and run. But please be more considerate of the people you are shoving and elbowing aside for the sake of an extra two to three seconds of better-ing your time.

Thanks for reading.

Yours Sincerely,

A slow and steady walker-jogger.

Doing the 5 km for the Nike City Run 2010

I didn't do good at all. I finished it in a few seconds above 48 minutes.

That'll teach me to stuff myself silly with unhealthy, heavy foods just half a day before a race.

So heed the warnings in your bodies, folks. If your body tells you you're overeating, chances are your system is really affected by all that "good" food... and that ain't good for your health. The world would be a better place if we could control ourselves from overeating!!

Anyways, time to train for the 11 km Mizuno Run next week. I'd better lay off the heavies and oilies this time around.

The Melantak Family

We just came back from an overnight stay in Johor Bharu. Yes JB. It was for our cousin Dina's wedding reception.

Good God, the whole family must've eaten enough food to feed ten armies.

For our little family, it started with a humble bowl of mee rebus muar at the Pagoh rest stop. It was decent, so I decided to ask for "No taugeh, extra mee please bang.."

That kind of set the tempo for the rest of the holiday. There was no stopping the gluttons within us. It was all systems go.

The mee rebus came back full to the brim, with deliciously sweet gravy nearly spilling out of the embarrassingly huge bowl. They'd put perhaps four fistfuls tauhus in there, and a whole boiled egg.

Then that night it was the reception dinner.

Everyone had seconds. And thirds. Then fourths. Err.. perhaps some of us had more than that. I tell ya, I haven't drooled over ayam masak merah like that in what seems like ages.

Then in the morning, the whole gang met at the coffee house for the buffet breakfast. I think we nearly gave the manager a heart attack.

Everyone stayed for more than an hour, polishing off many, many, many plates of food.

Then too soon it was time to go our own ways.

For H, Gibran, my mum, aunt and myself.... it meant more food.

We faithfully followed the GPS instructions to a wicked murtabak stall in Kampung Melayu Majidi where together we promptly devoured a plate of rojak (containing tempeh and spareparts.. yummehh), a special beef murtabak and an ayam murtabak. And ais kacang on top of all that, please.

We even tapau-ed some for our family and friends in KL.

We managed to behave pretty well all the way home, only stopping for canned Nescafe, isotonic drinks and yogurt drink for the li'l fella who'd been competing his appetite nicely alongside ours throughout the journey.

You'd think the rah-rah-go-foooooood tempo would stop once we reached KL. Wrong.

By 8 p.m. we figured we'd behaved long enough to earn a nice meal at Homst TTDI.

And so we devoured four large lauks with platefuls of rice.

And that, my friends, was our MELANTAK weekend so far.

Thank God for the Nike City Run tomorrow.

The Guard House

Our house is beside the guard house. You see, we have guards guarding certain entry points around the neighbourhood, and making rounds every 30 minutes or so to check on all houses. At these entry points they've erected small guard houses, and one of it is right beside our house.

You'd think it's nice to have the guards at your doorstep. Is it? Think again.

Safety-wise, I gotta admit that I've more confidence now about coming home alone with just Gibran. If any dodgy characters come ringing on my doorbell, the guards would immediately come to attention and walk right up to the front gate to ask if everything is alright. When I shriek madly in the middle of the night after a close encounter with the house lizards (cicaks la...), they'd enquire if everything is alright. So undeniably, I feel safer in my own home after the guards have been put in place.

In the past couple of months though, the neighbourhood society decided to close the boomgate beside our house at night (after 9 p.m.) and leave the guardhouse unguarded from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. (when they re-open the boomgate). So now our house isn't closely guarded as it was before. I was pretty sore about that but H takes it in stride and tries to make me look on the bright side, which is the fact that the guards are still making their rounds every 30 minutes or so, and the guardhouse beside our house is still one of the main checkpoints. Yeah alright... that's something lah, at least.

But we're paying for the electricity that they use for the guardhouse, and that darn spotlight that they keep switched on the whole night long. At the very least, I deserve to feel safe in my house at night too. Not just during the day.

Let me tell you why I don't feel safe at night.

Just a few days back, we found out that someone had stolen the desk that was placed in the guard house outside our house. Right from under our noses. Right outside our house. In the middle of the night when the place is unguarded.

Tell me, what's stopping them to do more than steal from the guardhouse...?

Perish the thought. Nauzubillah!

Sorry mister guards, I like you guys a lot, you guys are always polite and alert and there's no reason for me to kutuk you. So please understand I'm not kutuk-ing you, the guards.

I'm just wondering if I should be paying for next year security fees.