MJ's Passing

Yesterday (26th June '09), Michael Jackson dubbed also as the King of Pop by beautiful-gone-eccentric Elizabeth Taylor, passed on.

I was never a huge fan of MJ himself (though I loved the beautiful Elizabeth Taylor esp. in that movie "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof".. err sorry, off-tangent here).. but I liked him enough to have bought a couple of albums back in the 80s and 90s. I remember freaking out everytime I saw the "Thriller" music video (it scared the bejeebers out of me), and I hated that famous red jacket he wore, but after that found "Bad" extremely entertaining. Like most teens back then, I adored that weepy song "You Are Not Alone" until the radio played it soo often your ears would bleed if you heard it one more time. After those turbulent years, to this day I still like his oldies from the Jackson Five days, especially "Ben" (for some reason, dunno why!) and of course you couldn't have grown up in the 80s and not recall "We Are The World" with much fondness.

Suffice to say, I did appreciate some of his music and talent as an entertainer. Who on earth could've created those dance moves other than good ol' MJ?

Frankly, I wasn't one of those people who was so sure that he was a molester as charged. I wasn't too sure that he wasn't either. Whatever the truth is, isn't it for God to judge and not us?

Now he's passed on, and his cycle of life is complete. Whether it is true he died a Muslim or not, only God knows.

Yang dah pergi tu, sudah lah. Let it be.

When I was in primary school, I had a friend who was veryyy much into MJ. You could say she lived and breathed MJ. I saw her last during our uni years, and she was still very much into him. I wonder how she's handling the passing of her idol. I don't particularly have an idol, so I wouldn't know.

Anyways..

His songs however will live on in my fond-nest childhood memories. A bunch of us singing "We Are The World" for some concert in SRK SSP. My friends Audrey, Zarihan and myself clumsily attempting the Moon Walk dance one day when we stayed back at school for co-curriculum activities... laughing our heads off when we came across like chickens doing the hokey-pokey instead of the glamorous Moon Walk. We've all gone separate ways and live separate lives now. A group of black-clad girls hanging out at the neighbourhood park with walkmen hanging out of our ears, singing "You Are Not Alone" at the top of our lungs, with much passion and weepy-ness. I still see some of the girls once in a while with kids or boyfriends in tow at the Sunday neighbourhood pasar malam.

So even though he won't be hearing this.. thanks MJ, for your songs.

H1N1 Gets Too Darn Close For Comfort

My nephew Shazwan's school (SM Damansara Utama / SMDU) has two cases of H1N1-infected students. Said students are supposed to have been properly quarantined as we speak.

Then for the life of me, please explain, SMDU, why we had to learn of this from the TV3 van parked in front of the school, which of course evoked Shazwan's dear old Atuk's curiousity (dear ol' Dad).. and he of course walked into the school to make enquiries on the matter. I doubt any parent was properly informed about this. Then TV3 talked about it during the 1.30 news and I suppose that's how most parents would learn about this piece of news.

Schools. Don't they have any sense of responsibility towards their students and the students' parents? And what the heck are those people in Jabatan Kesihatan doing? Wanna wait till the whole Damansara Utama is infected or quarantined, then baru decide to close the school, issit?

Excuse me if I sound pissed. That's coz I am.

H1N1's too close for comfort indeed.

Of Cicaks

I HATE house lizards a.k.a. cicaks. I hate it when they appear out of nowhere and start crawling and squirming all over your legs in utter panic (who's supposed to be panicky here?!). I hate it when they sneak their heads out of under the washing machine to peak at what I'm doing in my own kitchen in the middle of the night and early mornings. I hate the very way they wriggle and squirm. They are utterly disgusting and I cannot stand them. The very thought of cicaks squirming anywhere within a ten-foot pole's distant is enough to make the hair on my neck stand up. Gross!

Today it happened again. I was busy washing chicken pieces to cook for lunch and had been standing there for a good 10 minutes when suddenly a cicak crawled onto my foot and started wriggling from foot to foot. Grosssssssss!

You bet I did a grand red-indian-rain-dance complete with shrieks that put those crows on the windowsill to shame. And to add salt to wound, the maid who had never seen her stalwart employer so out of control immediately got to her feet like a person at the ready to go to war, with exclamations of; "Puan! Puan! Apa itu? Apa ituuu?? Apa ituuuu Puannnnn???!" .. and in all that commotion, Gibran grabbed his lightsaber and rushed into the kitchen with shrieks of; "Kenape Mummy?! Kenape Mummy?? Kenapaaaaaaaaaaa Mummyy!! Are you okay?! ARE YOU OKAY MUMMYYYYY!!"....

Pffft.

All that just for one lousy cicak's sake.

I wish I know how to exterminate those pests!

Trust Issues

I have major trust issues. When Gibran was little and sick soo often, I hardly let anyone else hold him at family gatherings because I was sick of having a sick baby all the time. I also felt as if I was dreadfully troublesome if anyone held my baby too long because I hate troubling people.

I never leave Gibran alone with the maid at home. Hardly ever. The only times I'd left him alone at home was when he was sleeping and I needed to get bread or something important that wouldn't require more than 30 minutes. Even with our trusted old maid, I didn't. And now with the new one, lagi lah never. Hardly ever. Whenever I need to run errands or go for classes, I'd drop Gibran and the maid off at my parents' place. I have "visions" (of the not-good-sort) of maid running off or simply neglecting my kid in some way. Always.

I never even let the maid feed or bathe Gibran. Except for those days when I was very ill (last year when the implants were infected), and on days when I'm not around (running errands or at class), I would be the one feeding or bathing or simply doing anything/everything for Gibran. The maid is there only when I need assistance of some sort.

I've only left Gibran to go to bed without me during the times when I was hospitalised and was too ill. Other than that, noone else puts Gibran to bed except for H and myself. I have not been out till late at night with friends or for whatever function since Gibran was born because I always make sure I'm there when he's put to bed. As a result, whenever we're forced to leave him at night (the occasional wedding reception or discussion after our night classes), he'd start asking for Mummy and Baba as soon as the clock hits 10 p.m. Sometimes when he gets into fights with his cousins, he'd cry his eyes out for hours if we're not around. On that sort of occasion, we've had to rush back home to see to him. Like tonight for instance, our friend from Melbourne is in KL and hoping to meet up for late dinner and supper and a late-into-night gossip session.. and I was forced to back out because I didn't want to leave Gibran alone well into the wee hours of morning. Normally he'd follow us wherever we go, but tonight's meeting was a smokey joint (the sort we never failed to frequent a few times a week pre-Gibran days), and we couldn't risk exposing Gib to all that smoke.

My Dad likes to take his grandkids out with the maids as guardians/assistants. Last year they went to the zoo when I was still bed-ridden, so I didn't let Gibran go because I wouldn't be there to monitor him. H and I aren't comfortable with the maid being in charge of him on an outing like that for the whole morning. If he messes around with filthy things, the maid wouldn't care. She wouldn't even care about thoroughly scrubbing her hands and nails before feeding him if we weren't there. And what if he gets sick from all that heat and sun and lack of water because for sure the maid wouldn't pay attention to all those small details. That was when we had Nila, whom we actually did trust. Last week his cousins went to the zoo (with my Dad and sister's maid tagging along as Dad's assistant), and Gib couldn't go because I wasn't feeling too well and again, I wouldn't be around to fully-monitor the maid. New maid some more this time. How can we trust her..? But then, we didn't let Nila be in charge back then too.

Nowadays, Gibran is my constant shadow. He'll rush upstairs if he hears me walking around although I've just sent him downstairs to the maid not two minutes before that. And I was just about to take a shower and solat. Everyday I have to make sure we go to the park because that's the only place where he'd be too busy to look for me, and for once I'd have a chance to exercise. When the weather's lousy and I'm forced to workout at home, guess who'd be sitting right beside me while I'm working out?

Ninety percent of the time I love it. I love being a mother, I love this great kid I've been blessed with. He talks so well that he is now like a companion. I don't regret sacrificing my career because I believe that having me stay at home is the best thing for all of us. Not a minute goes by that I don't thank God for the ability to live normally. Things people take for granted like standing, walking, cooking, driving and so on. I try never to forget the days when I could not do all of that.

But then there are those times when I am unsure if these trust issues are making life harder... not easier. Are they, really?

When friends ask us to go out till the wee hours of morning, our conscience just can't take it. What if the people we leave Gibran with aren't taking care of him right? I don't miss the nightlife and I don't particularly like to hang out all night and come back to a quiet home and a sleeping kid who didn't get to hug Mummy goodnight. And yet there is that small part of me that sometimes wishes that I could just let go and relax a little.

In our circle of friends, there are friends with kids (including infants) who leave their kids behind with the maid or family members easily and have the luxury of going out there and having a life well beyond their little homes, and not worry too much about arranging childcare at the last minute, any time any day is a good time for having a good time.

And no, I am not envious or bitter. Honestly I'm not. And NO, I'm not judging them either because they're our good friends and everyone is entitled to their own ways of living. I just.... wonder why I cannot be like that!

The truth is that I'd rather be at home with a sleeping Gibran (who is muttering in his sleep right now) and a snoring H, after having had a pasar malam dinner of meehoon soup while watching Finding Nemo, with house chores waiting by my side (which I'm ignoring because, well.. d'uh, I'm blogging).. than being right there where I could otherwise be. Out there where the loud music used to soothe, the smokey air used to lull the troubles away, and loud and rowdy jokes are told with belly-splitting laughters.

I suppose we are happy in this quiet cocoon of ours.

Tag: Random Happiness

The hot Crash Test Mom has tagged me on 6 (un)important things that make me happy. So here goes!

The 6 (Un)important Things That Make Me Happy:

1. When Gibran says "Ban sayangggg Mummy".. without any prompting from me. Trouble is he doesn't do this often enough.

2. Any sort of retail therapy. Seriously. Go to pasar also can make me happy. Huhuhuuhuuu.. And don't get me started on how happy I get whenever I shop for clothes and make-up. :p

3. The post-workout feeling. Who doesn't like the feeling of having worked-out hard?!!! And tell me, who in the right mind likes to work out lah? I DON'T. I just like the after-workout feel coz I can eat the Peanut Butter Baskin Robbins ice-cream I got yesterday without feeling utterly FAT. If only we could have that after-workout feeling without working out.

4. A good pedicure. Manicures and facials are fun but I can live without them. Pedicures.. they're special somehow. Something about wearing open-toed sandals and looking at your feet looking lovely. Hehhhh perasannn.

5. Smoochie woochies from hubby. Heheheheheeeeeeee. Always works to chase the blues away. Err.. smoochie woochies from Gibby are somewhat better though :p I feel unconditionally loved! Sorry H. You're definitely second class citizen for now, bebeh.

6. Sitting around on the beach sand with my little family without caring what time or day it is. Throw that watch out into the sea!

And now comes the hard part. Who to tag..?!

Err..

Ok.... what about..

1. Slavemom.
2. Yatie.
3. Ummi Sa'eed.
4. Mummy Darren (if you're feeling better, dear!)
5. Family First (because it'll be nice to get to know you better)
6. Feenie (I haven't heard from you in ages! Rindu lah pulak!) ;)

But first I have to TELL them about the existence of this blog first... then baru can tag, right?? Hmmmm.