What The Mind Needs

H was up late writing out the course outline of a new subject module he is handling next semester. Since it was advertising-related, he asked for some advise from the so-called-marketing-specialist in the house. Yours truly lah, who else. Kah kah kah.

Then yours truly realised that.... ohmigosh!...

OTAK KARAT ALREADY!!

I thought I was doing a good job (obviously so perasan and angkat bakul!) of keeping the mind sharp. I make sure I read a lot (any subject will do, but in the past year it's been heavy on the religious and spiritual side, Alhamdulillah), I have Arabic classes twice a week and make sure that I revise whenever I can and I undertake personal projects that are of significance to myself and my family (e.g. create books for Gibran, various notebooks for myself, sewing, cooking, trying new things..). All for the sake of keeping the mind and soul sharp. But obviously it hasn't been good enough!

So there I was, trying to help H out with his subject module.. and slowly I felt that part of my brain waking up once again. After that I did my night-time readings and Arabic revision, and found it somewhat easier than usual.

Which made me wonder if I should go back to part-time work again. Just to get rid of that KARAT-ness from the mind and soul.

Then there is that small part of me that is afraid that work would consume me again (I am a person of extremes.. I kid you not. I do everything too obsessively..) and leave me with little time for the spiritual side of life.

Some people can do it all. I have come to accept the fact that attempting to do-it-all made me a grumpy person. Which in turn affected my family in negative ways.

So there. The dilemma stays. For now.



Note to self: Must look for ways to exercise the brain further!

Why I Don't Like Having a Maid

The main reason I don't like having a maid is because they're a test to the heart and soul. In other words; "mencabar keimanan". At least that's how I feel.

Having a maid is suppose to simplify your life. But this is not usually the case. In the mornings our maid cleans the house and does the laundry. You might think this means that the employer's worries about cleanliness and clothes are non-existent, but this isn't so. There is the constant worry and need to check whether the maid's using the washing machine correctly (many a machines have been destroyed at various maids' hands), and whether the clothes are hung correctly. Clothes would be hung peg-less and many a piece of clothing would be scattered all over the garden if checking isn't done. Clothes would also stink and stain if they are not cleaned and washed properly, which is often the case in our house. And there's the ironing issue. Many clothes have been burnt and scarred by poor usage of the iron and so the ironing is also another chore requiring constant check-ups.

So those are the worries one has concerning the maid and the laundry. Lets get down to the next issue of cleaning and cleanliness.

Using the vacuum cleaner requires constant guidance and monitoring as well. Although taught to use the vacuum many times, our maid still uses it wrongly. Vacuum is left switched on for too long until the motor feels like it's about to explode. Dust isn't emptied correctly and servicing would be required soon after. Yet another machine with a history of many ill-treatments at the hand of various maids. Washing the toilet needs constant spot-checks too. Brushes meant for usage on the toilet floor would be used for the sinks and tubs if not checked on. Whatever that has been taught ten times would have to be repeated constantly over the weeks just in case the maid claims; "Saya dah lupa.." about what you teach.

And then there're the hygiene issues.

Repeatedly told not to rub her nose or play with her toenails and such (yes the maid does this) while feeding the kid... the maid would still do it if one doesn't keep an eagle eye on her. How'd you feel about a hair or (worse still) a booger in your kid's food?

Then there're all the other small things that you've taught but are constantly done wrong because... "Saya lupa.." ("I forgot") or "Saya ingatkan boleh buat begitu.." ("I thought it could be done this way"). Want examples? Using the sponge to wash plates to wash sinks and stovetops is one such example. Or "forgetting" to clean the brown stains and scums in various parts of the toilets when asked to wash the toilet. Or even forgetting to take her own mid-day shower which results in a really stinky body odour by early evening (errr.. God forgive me for saying this).

So if you still think having a maid simplifies life, think again. If you're one of the blessed people who have good maids, good on you! But if you're right here in the same boat as I am in...

May God give us strength and patience indeed!

I need a maid because God gave me the test of the spine. I cannot do a lot of housework and am not allowed to lift Gib when necessary. At every mealtime the maid lifts Gib into his high-chair and during car rides, the maid lifts him into his carseat. When / If Gib is unwell and needs cuddling, the maid lifts him up and puts him on my lap because I am not allowed to do this myself. So yes.. having a maid is a necessity to me. And as Allah is my witness, the maid is also one of life's biggest trials that God has sent me. Wallahualam. I should be glad that my life's trials are not bigger than mere maid-issues.

But as usual there is one last thing that needs to be said.

To those without maids, I envy you and respect you for making that choice.

And one day when the child(ren) are grown up and there isn't a need to have a stay-in maid, I'm sure there are other things to complain about. Hehh. C'est la vie!

Ramadhan's Challenges

Already some personal challenges have come my way. I am quite sad at the turn of events. But alas, there is still time and hope to ponder and improve in this wonderful month. InsyaAllah. May God guide me to a better path here onwards.

Some people have been "carrying their mouths" ("bawak mulut" ..) and saying untrue things which could get in the way of one of the oldest relationships I've had in my life. No, not with H lah. I'm talking about one of oldest, most treasured friends. One of the few I still hold on to and have hopes to one day share stories about our grandchildren.

I must write about this because it is something we can and must learn from.

Don't exaggerate or make-up stories about non-existent issues. Your seemingly harmless lies may harm people in ways you cannot imagine and unknown to you.

Although we say we don't do this.. in reality we all do. In some way or another. In little ways or in big ways. Whatever it is, now that the hurt is right here in my field, I say we should all strive to always be aware of what we say or do. For in doing and saying things that we think are harmless, we could possibly bring hurt into other people's lives.

We could and should strive to be better people, friends. Maybe we can improve together.

Quick Wantan Mee

With the H1N1 rampantly spreading, we seldom eat out nowadays. We recently had a yearning for Wantan Mee, so I decided to make it myself. It is soooo easy to make, I doubt we'll be having wantan mee in restaurants anymore (unless the Lazy Bug comes and infects us in the future!).

I didn't make any actual wantans/wantons because H and I are both allergic to prawns. I know! What is wantan mee without the wantans, right?! Well, if you wish to have the mee with wantan, I'd say go and buy those ready-made ones in supermarkets (available at the frozen section) and give em a quick fry. Or boil em in chicken stock. There's one brand that's particularly good but I'd forgotten the name. Will go looksie the next time I'm at the supermarket.

So here's the recipe...

QUICK WANTAN MEE


1 pack wantan noodle (approximately 200 grams; available at the chilled noodle and tauhu section in supermarkets)
2 small bunches of Pak Choy (you can use normal sawi but we love baby Pak Choy)
2 pieces chicken fillet (I use 2 pieces of boneless chicken maryland because they're juicier than chicken breasts)
Salt and white pepper

Sauce ingredients (which can be adjusted as you like):
4 tablespoons oyster sauce
1 tablespoon kicap manis (we use Habhal)
1 tablespoon kicap masin (we use Tamin)
2 teaspoons sesame oil
a pinch of salt

Method:

1. For the chicken; season well with salt and white pepper, steam in a steamer until cooked (about 20 minutes). Once cooked, cut into bite pieces.
2. For the pak choy; cut into bite pieces and throw them into a pot of boiling and well-salted water, boil until cooked. Drain and set aside. You can sprinkle a little of sesame oil and salt on it if you want, but we like it as is.
3. Mix all the sauce ingredients in a large bowl. Set aside.
4. For the noodles; take noodles out of packet, unravel the tightly bunched noodles until all of it loosens. Boil a pot of water, put the noodles in the boiling water. Do not leave noodles in hot water too long. A mere 10-15 seconds in the boiling water would do. If you like softer noodles, boil it until it floats. But I like chewy noodles, so my noodles took a really short dip in the boiling water. The next step is IMPORTANT. If you want springy and chewy noodles (not mushy!), you must prepare a big bowl of iced, cold water on the side. Drain the noodles from the pot, shake off all excess water. Then quickly dunk the noodle into the bowl of iced, cold water. Some people advise to dunk them into hot water again after that, but I don't do this. I just dunk mine in the cold water (for about 5 seconds or so), then took them out while they're still warm. The idea here is to let the noodles stop cooking.
5. Shake off all excess water and put the noodles into the sauce we'd mixed in step 3. Toss until the noodles are evenly coated by the sauce.
6. Serve immediately, with chicken slices and pak choy on top.

Note: Many people like their chicken roasted for this dish. I used steamed chicken because we like steamed chicken. Sometimes we'd marinate the chicken pieces with barbeque sauce (the hickory smoke sauce from Life is good and goes well with this dish, so we marinate the chicken in this), and cooked them in a skillet, on the stove with just a light spray of oil.

Cobaan...

Remember in Pendekar Bujang Lapok when the three jokers were chanting the "Hey Mambang kuning, mambang whatever.." mantra, whenever they were disrupted they'd say.. "COBAAN...!"
(i.e. cubaan @ dugaan @ a test).

I don't know if it was too much P. Ramlee movies as a kid, but I say that a lot whenever I'm disturbed or perturbed. In all seriousness or as a joke. "COBAAN..." always seems to be the one-word phase that covers pretty much how I feel about the situation at hand.

And on the first day of Ramadhan, one was sent down to me.

Right after breaking fast and praying Maghrib.. I got my period.

COBAAN....

I'm really sad about this this time around because this is the first time I'm fasting in five years. I've waited for this Ramadhan with such anticipation, only to have it flail on the very first night.

But, Allah knows best.

Even with Aunt Flo's visit, there're ways to still reap the benefits of Ramadhan, I'm sure.

Do zikirs, do doas. Read the Quran and its terjemahans. Jauhkan from all negativities and sikap buruk. I can't seem to do this as well as I wish I could, but in trying to control our nafsu, there is Ibadah there. Insyaallah.

Anybody else has any tips to share for those of us who can't fast at the moment? I know Sarah's in the same boat as I am right now.

"Saya budak baru belajar, kalau salah tolong tunjukkan.."

Happy fasting to those who can :)

A Good Start to Ramadhan

The doc declared the foot healed! Praise Allah! Yippee yeahh yayy!

Still, no walking or jogging exercise sessions for one more month. The soft tissue and tendon are healed but still tender.

And Ramadhan is here!

Lollies sent me a package containing books and reads which I totally love because they're so suitable for those free moments in Ramadhan. Thank you so much, Lolls, you're a constant inspiration to me. So sorry that we couldn't meet :( Sungguh menyedihkan tak dapat jumpa you. My sincerest apologies. These past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I want to take pictures of the books you sent but my Mom and H have started reading them and now they're in various rooms in the house! Thank you again, Lollies.

On another note, Alhamdulillah, I am amazed at the fact that I am once again fasting. After years of suffering from severe gastric, the illness has miraculously left me (even if this is a temporary situation, I am indeed thankful). In my book, miracles do happen indeed. This month is such a great month and I am hopeful and excited to reap benefits from it. Benefits which are good for the spirit and soul, Insyaallah.

Hope the start of Ramadhan is as amazing for you as it is for me :)

The Foot Issue

So anyways, remember that foot I bumped into the dining table leg (kaki meja lah) the other day? Errr... more like weeks and weeks ago.

I've been going to this clinic to get the foot treated, and although it is slowgoing, Alhamdulillah and Insyaallah (Praise God and God willing) the foot is getting better.

It's been lookin' like a lepat pisang, all wrapped up nice and tight with Acustop bandages..



Eh sorry la.. my foot ain't very pretty, folks. But nevermind la, picture for memory's sake (untuk kenang-kenangan). Huhuhuu.

Dr. Mark, the podiatrist who's treating me, is South African but looks like a Malay+Arab or something akin to that. Then he opens his mouth and out comes the South African accent, which (embarrassingly!!) made my Australian accent come out in torrents and there I was, chatting away in my sho-sheng-sho-sheng karat Aussie accent.

There're only two podiatrists in Malaysia, y'all. Want your kids to become super-loaded, tell em to become podiatrists. Seriously. I think the amount of money I've given that clinic alone is enough for the doctor to makan-makan luxuriously for at least two weeks.

But if you've got health problems that need fixing, it's always money well-spent, isn't it.

Meeting Tun Mahathir and Jamal Abdillah

This is a backdated post but something was wrong with our lovely Streamyx so I haven't been able to put it up.

On Sunday night (09/08/2009), we went to see this..

As a child I'd always liked Jamal Abdillah. Hooooboy, who doesn't remember the movie "Azura" and how hawt he was back then? Yeah yeah you can argue that he was as scrawny as a pole, and what with all his drug involvement.. poor fella. Now he ain't as handsome as he used to be, but he's still really talented alright.


This picture looks really familiar lah. Doesn't Michael Jackson have a similar picture..?? Oh wellll.

Truthfully I am not a big fan of the local music scene. The singers and their musics nowadays lack a certain sort of charisma. Now singers from back in the ol' days (from Tan Sri P. Ramlee's days up till the 80s) are in a different class of their own. Somewhere from the mid 80s, I just stopped being able to grasp the local music scene. As a teenager I wouldn't be caught dead listening to Malaysian music. Cool lah tu konon, eh? Pffft.

Anyway.. before I go too far off-tangent..

So despite the H1N1 worry, with Dad babysitting the kids (and the maids!); Mom, Sister, BIL, BIL'S Mama (my sister's mother-in-law la..), Dr. D (BIL's little sister) and I got dressed up and went to Jamal's last night performing at Istana Budaya for the Kembara Seniman tour.

I've forgotten 90% of his songs' lyrics and resorted to humming like a bee throughout the play+concert. The fella has a super-awesome voice, I tell ya. He sings so effortlessly, it got kinda scary to watch at times. You know.. the note is soo high, you'd expect the guy's voice to break and it doesn't. Phew.

Ohhhh ohhhh let me just tell you who we met there.

Tun Mahathir!

Yeah yeah so sue me. I'm a HUGE fan of Tun Mahathir. Always been, always will be. No politician is without flaws, but to me that old man is really something.


Tun Mahathir's car pulled up beside us as we were walking up the entrance of Istana Budaya and we got to wave "hi" at him. Hehehe. Batak sungguh. Well at least he smiled at us to acknowledge our mad wavings. Know why he pulled up right beside us? Because we took the wrong way and ended up at the V.I.P. entrance, that's why. See, I did say we were acting like bataks, right? Kekekee.

Since we sat beside the entrance, we got quite close to the V.I.P. entourage. Sister and Dr. D's highlight of the night was the fact that they got to salam the Tun. Grr. Yes I'm jealous.


Mom and me. Got resemblance, you think?


From left; BIL's Mama, Dr. D, Sister and BIL.

And after the concert, we once again we took the V.I.P.-route to the car (very few people followed this route), and waved again like bataks as the Tun and Dr. Siti Hasmah drove away. We had hoped to get personal pictures with Jamal, but BIL was being a real joykiller! He was hungry and wanted to leave a.s.a.p. Tsk tsk. So all I got was a picture of 50 year old Jamal Abdillah from afar (yes that's Datuk Rais Yatim beside him).



The performance was worth every penny. We got the RM150 tickets (after discount it was about RM137), but there were empty seats at the RM300 place and a few of us (Mom and me included) sat there for the second half of the show. So we got a really good view. The first part of the performance was a musical play, and it gave us an intimate view of Jamal's career; his achievements and personal turmoils. The man is indeed superbly talented, but what a lonely life he leads. In short, it was a heartwrenching, raw and honest piece of performance where he showed how lonely a life as a performer can be. Kudos to the man for fighting his inner devils (i.e. his drug problems in particular) and may Allah give him strength to stay strong and fight.

Overall.. what a night!

If anyone knows of any 80s Malaysian artists giving stage performances in the future, do holler!!

A Sudden Passing

Seems like life's been a bit reflective lately. As in.. life's demanding us to be reflective.

Yesterday afternoon BIL's aunt, Mak Usu, passed away at the age of 55 due to complications resulting from chemotherapy. To those of you out there without this piece of knowledge.. yes, chemotherapy can bring about many complications. Truly I am no expert. But I know more about cancer and its treatments now than if compared to 5 years ago. Because I have cancer in my family. So I can't afford to live blissfully in oblivion anymore.

A breast cancer patient we know recently spent a couple of weeks in HKL's ICU because of blood sepsis, a complication which emerged with her chemotherapy treatment. She is now okay, Alhamdulillah. Mak Usu on the other hand, wasn't as lucky. She had her chemo earlier this week and was discharged on Friday morning (if I heard correctly). Saturday morning saw her excitedly making breakfast for her family, as she so often did on weekends when all her kids were home. After breakfast she told her family that she felt fine, so they should go on with whatever they needed to do for the day. So her husband (Pak Usu) followed their youngest daughter to oversee repairworks at her apartment. During which she then called Pak Usu to say that she was having difficulties breathing. They all rushed home, only to find her laying on the bed. She had passed on.

May she be at peace with Allah Subhanahuwata'ala.

She was a good person. I was never very close to her, but she had kids who were in Melbourne when we lived in Melbourne. She was one of those people that you just can't ignore because she tried so hard to care for you. Whenever she was in Melbourne, she'd invite us over to her kids' house for a meal. She'd come over our apartment too. Like all young people we kids were content in our own little worlds. She wouldn't allow that. She was big on family and gatherings. Every Raya since we came back from Melbourne, she'd insist on having a big gathering at her house. We got to know her and her family pretty well. She was caring, with huge smiles and hugs for us whenever she saw us. She always had some sort of advise up her sleeves. Her nephews and nieces would get irritated at times. But now that she's gone, we can see how she's touched so many people's lives.

Not a dry eye in the house when we went to ziarah her jenazah yesterday. All the nephews and nieces who'd complain about how kecoh she was, mourned openly. A nephew who was always so manly and composed went up to her jenazah and would not let go of her hand until steered away. Her pregnant daughter (due in a couple of weeks) could not get out of bed due to shock and grief. H and I had to leave early to attend a planned gathering, but the scene could not escape me.

Night fell and sister called me to say that Mak Usu would be buried Sunday morning. Cousins, friends, nephews and nieces from afar travelled back to pay their final ziarah and to give support to her family.

Mak Usu won't be hearing this, but I need to say this out.

Thank you, dear Mak Usu, for forcing us to feel a part of the family when we were in Melbourne.
Thank you for all the great meals we had under your roof.
Thank you for touching so many lives in your memorable way.
And thank you God for giving us the opportunity to witness her gregarious spirit.

One final thing.

Prior to her passing, we had planned to visit her once she was healthier and settled once more at home. The opportunity never came.

If you know anyone who is ill, don't wait. See them today.

Help Thou Neighbour

I was up late and heard some "unaccustomed" noises on our street. Since our area's been partially closed (a section of our housing area is now gated and guarded), our street's been a lot quieter.

Curious about the sounds of purring engines, hushed voices, rattling car doors accompanied with some weird lights coming through the cracks on our window blinds.. I peeked. And saw a UMMC ambulance parked in front of a neighbour's house across from ours.

Ambulances make my heart fall. They make my jantung skip a tiny beat and then if there're sirens on, they'd pull my heart right down into my foot or something like akin to that. My first surgery was so bad, I've learned what it's like for an invalid person who is helpless and cannot move while doctors cut and sew and do things to your body. Remembering the wake-up test during the surgery (when they wake you up mid-surgery to ask you to wriggle your toes; this is to test nerve function once they've fused your spine), I can imagine what it's like for a patient to feel helpless and ill. There is nothing worse than being so ill, you cannot force yourself to wake.

I wonder how the person feels. That person who was straddled onto the stretcher, helplessly taken into the ambulance and to the hospital tonight, not 20 minutes ago.

After the ambulance left, there were some more noises and I peeked again. Saw two people get into the car and drive out of the house. No doubt to follow their loved one who was taken to the hospital.

Both times when I peeked, I was overcome with a feeling of guilt and shame. I really really wish there was something I could do to help. Or just ask if there is anything they need help with. And then I realised that I don't even know their names. I don't know who they are.

And they live just several houses away from us.

When I was little, this neighbourhood was different. Everybody knew everybody. Neighbours went to other neighbours' houses. I remember going to Uncle Dzul's house across the street (of the Dzul Dental Surgery here in DU, and whose daughter is part of the wonderous WonderMilk) and playing with his kids. Now when we bump into each other, we'd just smile and raise our hands. That's it. We don't even visit each other during Raya anymore.

Then there's Uncle Rony next door who is (and always was) very tolerant of the shoutings and screamings that came from our noisy house back when all five kids stayed here in this ol' DU house. Once, years ago, Shazwan and Sarah threw stuffed toys into their compound and Aunty Michelle came knocking on my car window to return the toys to us. I was so shocked I thought she was one of those mute people who go around selling stuffed toys to the general public, and I kept on shaking my head and gesturing "No, No, taknak beli". To which she good-naturedly laughed and later on forgave me for it. Hehhh. Malu woh.

But other than them... we don't know any other neighbours.

So in the end, in the event like tonight, when we so wanted to reach out and offer help.... we don't know how. And so we couldn't help.

This is not the right way to live, is it, my friends?

When we were in Melbourne, Margaret our downstairs neighbour used to irritate the heck out of us. But if we put Margaret aside (in the discarded-memory-box where she ought to belong), come to think of it.. we had good neighbours.

Once we had a blackout and H and I were peeking out of our front door to see if the main power switchbox in the hallway tripped, and Fiona from across the hall came out to check if we had enough candles to face the blackout. When we went out onto the balcony, that buff neighbour of ours from the next block (forgot his name) called out to ask if we were okay, and if we needed some candles or torchlights.

Then there were those bees which built a humongous (really!) nest on the balcony of one neighbour from next door and the buff neighbour approached us and asked if we'd like to go along to tell the neighbour that they had a bee infestation, and to offer help to remedy the situation somehow.

And once when our foreign neighbour accidentally left her keys inside the apartment and was locked out, while her 2 year-old son was locked in the apartment, the neighbours upstairs hurriedly peeked to see if there was anything they could help us with when they heard the commotion (that was our shrill voices calling out to the li'l boy if he could reach and open the door).

We Asians are supposed to have more of a neighbourhood spirit, and culturally we were supposed to put more stress on social ties and relationships. At least that's what most researchers said back when I researched for Cross Cultural Negotiations. That Asian cultures are more concerned about interpersonal relationships and so on.

So where on earth did we go wrong?

Well...

I hope our neighbours are doing fine somehow.

A Cat's Eyes

I was going nuts, wasn't I..?!! Hoooboyy. Gill, that Nemo's friend was right!

Anyways, the first day out of "quarantine" saw H, Gibran and myself at Homst TTDI having dinner. Oooh their lemon chicken is to die for lah. And for the first time in two weeks, Gib finished his rice. He even had agar-agar which I made with evaporated milk and fruit cocktail later at the in-laws', on top of his usual night-time milk. Alhamdulillah. I pray his appetite is coming back.

So there I was, driving home alone at 9+ p.m. out of TTDI's Athinahapan area to get Gib's milk from our house (I'd dropped H and Gib off at Pa's and Ma's place first), and at that T-junction near their house, I saw a cat with blinking eyes like flickering neon lights.

Yikes! Freaky. Spooooky.

A cat with eyes which glow out of the dark, I'm used to. Because we had cats for 20 years of my life before Gib was born. But a cat with BLINKING lighted-up eyes.. that was something new.

Then I realised that the cat's eyes were reflecting the signal light on my car. I was signaling to go to the right, and the blinking light was reflected on the cat's eyes.

D'uhhhh.

I swear I must've been going nuts. Phew.

May Allah bless us with good health and strong hearts as we prepare for Ramadhan!